pocketing

Pocketing is keeping the person you’re dating hidden: they never meet your friends or family, and they never show up on your social media. The idea is that you keep them tucked away in your pocket.

What it means

If you’ve been seeing someone for months and still haven’t met a single friend of theirs, you might be getting pocketed. Other signs: they always choose places where nobody knows them, dodge photos, or describe you as “a friend” when someone asks.

The behavior is old. Only the name is new, and it’s usually used critically, as a dating red flag. Dating coach Grace Lee told USA Today it’s like being hidden in someone’s pocket.

Is it always a bad sign?

Not always. Some people keep relationships private for good reasons: they’re not out yet, they’ve had a painful public breakup, or they just don’t post their life online. The difference is whether it’s a shared choice or something one person is doing to the other.

Examples

• “Eight months together and I’ve never met his friends. I think I’m being pocketed.”
• “She posts her brunch, her cat and her nails, but never me. Pocketing?”
• “He introduced me to his roommate as ‘someone from work.’ That’s pocketing.”

Where it came from

Nobody is credited with coining it. It was in news coverage of dating trends by April 2022, and it’s nearly the same as “stashing,” an older term that a 2017 Business Insider list defined as hiding a partner from friends, family and social media.

Related terms

• soft launch: hinting at a relationship online
• hard launch: the opposite of pocketing
• sneaky link: a relationship that’s secret on purpose
• red flag: a warning sign
• situationship: a relationship with no label

See more terms like this in our dating slang dictionary.