gaslight

To gaslight someone is to manipulate them into doubting their own memory, perception or sanity. It’s a serious term for a form of psychological abuse, though online it’s often used much more loosely, and sometimes as a joke.

The real meaning

Gaslighting is a deliberate pattern: insisting something happened when it didn’t, denying things that clearly did, or telling someone they’re “too sensitive” or “imagining things” until they stop trusting themselves. Merriam-Webster defines it as grossly misleading someone, especially for personal advantage. It can happen in relationships, families and workplaces.

How it’s used in slang

On social media, “gaslight” is also used playfully, for example when a store sign insists a price is a “deal,” or in the meme “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.” Mental health experts have pointed out that the word is often misused for ordinary disagreements, where someone simply remembers things differently or stands their ground. Not every argument is gaslighting.

Examples

• “He kept saying I never told him about the trip, even though I showed him the text. Classic gaslighting.”
• “Stop trying to gaslight me into thinking this was my idea.”
• “The weather app said sunny. I’m being gaslit.” (joking)
• “Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.” (meme)

Where gaslight comes from

The term comes from Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play Gas Light and especially its 1944 film version, Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman, in which a husband dims the house’s gas lights and then insists his wife is imagining it. Merriam-Webster named “gaslighting” its Word of the Year for 2022 after lookups rose by 1,740%.

If it’s happening to you

If you regularly feel confused about what’s real after talking to someone, keep notes or messages and talk to someone you trust outside the situation. Support services for emotional abuse can help you sort through it.

Related terms

• Gatekeep: keeping something to yourself.
• Love bombing: overwhelming affection used to control someone.
• Red flag: a warning sign.
• Receipts: proof.

See more in our Gen Z slang dictionary and our dating slang guide.