talking stage

The talking stage is the early, in-between phase when two people are texting, flirting and maybe going on dates, but aren’t a couple yet. If someone says “we’re just talking,” this is where they are.

What it means

It’s the getting-to-know-you period before anyone uses words like “dating” or “exclusive.” You might text every day, meet up a few times, and still have no idea what you are to each other. That uncertainty is the defining feature, and the reason the phrase gets used with an eye-roll as often as not.

People don’t agree on the rules. For some, the talking stage means you’re seeing other people too. For others, it’s already exclusive, just unofficial. If it matters, ask.

Examples

• “Are you two dating?” “No, we’re in the talking stage.”
• “Four months of talking stage is not a talking stage. That’s a situationship.”
• “The talking stage ended when he left me on read for a week.”

Where it came from

Using “talking to someone” to mean casually seeing them is not new. The exact phrase “talking stage” has no documented first use, but by the early 2020s it was standard Gen Z dating vocabulary. In 2022 a survey by the dating app CanWe found that 56% of the 1,000 U.S. online daters it polled had deleted a dating app after a bad talking-stage experience.

Talking stage vs. situationship

The talking stage is the start. It’s expected to lead somewhere, or end. A situationship is what happens when it drags on and gets closer, but still never gets a label.

Related terms

• situationship: a relationship with no label
• dry texter: someone whose replies are short and flat
• ghosting: disappearing without explanation
• soft launch: hinting at a relationship online
• breadcrumbing: giving just enough attention to keep you interested

See more terms like this in our dating slang dictionary.